Trying to Conceive – Update #3

I’m not entirely sure where the time goes but it’s been about six weeks since I wrote an update on trying to conceive baby number 3.  In that six weeks I haven’t had a period.  For a week or two I was kidding myself we’d actually conceived but after a couple of pregnancy tests I was put quite straight on the matter.  I even had ‘line eye’ and swore I could see a second line.  Wanting something so bad you swear you can see it, pulling tests out the bin to check and check again.  I feel like a woman possessed sometimes. They say, statistically, men think about sex every seven seconds but I’d hazard a guess that I think about getting pregnant every three seconds.

I had a whole bunch of cheap ovulation predictor kit tests (OPKs) and I have read on numerous forums that these can often be a tell tale sign of pregnancy if taken towards the end of your cycle.  So one Sunday afternoon, towards the end of my usually long cycle, I took an OPK test and there was a faint line.  I couldn’t help but get a little excited.  It couldn’t possibly mean I was ovulating or about to ovulate so late in my cycle surely?  We bought a pregnancy test that day and I took it on the Monday morning…..negative.  Not a great start to the week.  Stupidly I told myself it was probably too early and took another OPK towards the end of the week – the test line was stronger then the control line and I was completely flummoxed. I told Matt and we assumed I was ovulating late.  However, in the meantime I also read more research on Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and found out my about the hormonal imbalance and how this can actually give false readings on OPKs.  Great.  It could all mean nothing.

As I write this post I am on cycle day 56.  I had horrendous back aches and cramp last night and curled up on the sofa with a hot water bottle.  It’s getting worse isn’t it? My PCOS is getting worse. I’ve always had a period, yeh it might have been 35-40 days apart but I’ve always had them.  But now, nothing. At least I had hopes of conceiving before but now? What’s happening? I don’t think I even ovulate any more.  I feel like a broken woman.  Someone’s taken away the bit that makes me female.

On the slightly less dull side, I have had an appointment through from the hospital regarding my surgery, I have a date set for my Laparoscopy.  The pre-op clinc appointment is to be on 16th July and the operation on 22nd July.  I’ve been googling to read up on the procedure and the recovery time as I have a wedding to attend on the 24th July. I’m not too worried about the surgery at the moment but I have read that my stomach could be swollen for days afterwards…..this does not make dress shopping easy!

I don’t have any pretty pictures for these updates and I could post pictures of the tests I have taken but why bother when they have really meant nothing.

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