1. Your husband won’t love you any less because you’re wearing that maternity bra which makes your boobs hang either side of your bump.
2. Your child won’t die because their dinner has consisted solely of ‘foods’ which came from packets or tins.
3. Your son is 6, his homework should look like a 6 year old has produced it. Let him get on with it!
4. You’re tired, Florence doesn’t know what time it is, putting her to bed earlier than 7pm IS a good idea.
5. People won’t jump back in horror if you don’t wear make up for the school run. Be you.
6. Using extra perfume because you didn’t have time (couldn’t be arsed to shower) is ok, you can shower later.
7. The pre-school will not call social services because Florence’s socks don’t match.
8. Enjoy your children, you’re a long time dead.
9. Order a bloody tumble dryer!
10. Make the most of Florence being unable to read and skip those few pages in the bedtime story. When they get to 5 years old it’s a whole different ball game!