Are all mummy bloggers loners?

One thing that I’ve been wondering for a while, especially since writing my own blog, is are all mummy bloggers loners?  Specifically ‘mummy’ bloggers.

I don’t mean that in a derogatory way.  I’d describe myself as a bit of a loner. An introvert I guess.  I like my own company, time to do things I want to do.  Maybe that’s what happens when you have kids? You treasure the time when the house is empty?

I’ve noticed many of the mummy bloggers and vloggers I follow tend to spend a lot of their time alone (or just with the kids). The majority of their day is spent in the house or garden with only their children for company and when they finally get the kids to bed or the husbands gone out they blog, comment on other blogs and socialise through social media.

I heard a quote the other day that seemed to resonate with me “The smarter the phone, the dumber the person”.  I’m not sure if I agree with this but it made me think how times have changed.  When I was younger I’d spend an hour on the telephone actually talking to my friends, friends who I’d seen at school two hours earlier.  The thought of spending an hour on the phone to someone now is just weird a) because I don’t have anyone I would consider a good enough friend to talk to for that long and b.) I would miss out on doing stuff at home that I want to do.

It’s a bit of a chicken and egg situation. Does blogging make you a lonely/introverted person or is it that lonely, introverted people tend to blog?  Or, can you have it all? Kids, a husband, an active and successful blog and a whole load of friends which you see often?  I’d love to hear what you think and how you see yourself on the scale of extrovert/introvert.

Being a mum I guess makes you a little more housebound then you used to be – putting the kids down for a nap or maintaining that crucial routine, but does that then lead you down the social media route? It’s a slippery path.  My husband didn’t know a tweet from a like three years ago but now loves to catch up with all his mates and football news online.  It’s a nightly ritual that we get into bed and look at our phones before finally putting them on the bedside table and saying goodnight.  I wonder what we’d talk about if we didn’t have our phones?

I’ve often wondered if blogging replaces friends.  Does a blog act as a sounding board.  Do I empty all those daily thoughts on to my blog instead of communicating with a real life person and exchanging opinions? Yes, I think I probably do.

I work from home, not just blogging, but I have a real, paid part time job that usually means I don’t speak to another sole for days on end between the hours of 8-6pm.  Since changing my hours from full time to part time and from office based to home based I’ve noticed a massive shift in my confidence.  The thought of going to a meeting scares me a little (ok, a lot) and the judgey eyes and small talk in the office is something I’d rather do without. I’m content in my own little corner of the house, with my laptop and my notepad.  I don’t have interruptions or chats over the coffee machine.  I’ve definitely become introverted and anxious.  Is it just coincidence I love blogging or is it something a lot of mummy bloggers feel?

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13 Comments

  1. April 20, 2015 / 2:03 pm

    This is a great post. I think there are lonely and introverted people that blog, people that use social media and blogging for the social aspect and mainly have friends online. I have many, many good friends online but I also have a close knit group of friends ‘in real life’ that I meet up with for coffee, play dates and just a chat. For me, blogging has given me something to do in the evenings when I’m at home with the children and Hubby’s at work – it stopped me being lonely and kept my mind busy but it was only those evenings where I would feel lonely – the days have always been fine x

    • admin
      April 21, 2015 / 9:47 am

      Hi Donna – thanks for sharing your experience. It really interests me why some people blog but others find it all a bit weird. x

  2. April 20, 2015 / 2:10 pm

    Thank you for sharing this because it’s a very interesting topic. For me I’m a single mum and I have one nine year old boy. I also have two blogs which I have just started not too long ago and starting my own business at the same time. Would I call myself introvert? Not really no.

    I think it’s a personal thing if someone chooses not to socialise outside of blogging with friends it’s simply because its a choice they made. Even though I blog I still love a good catch up with my friends. I still love to go out and shop, chat and eat out. I also spend time to take my son to the park and go cinemas but I also have those moments where I just want to have me time. I actually think blogging for me boosts up my confidence. Talking to new people and joining different blogging communities also brings me out of my comfort zone. I used to be an introvert before I started blogging but I’ve come out of that because I hated that feeling of inferiority.

    • admin
      April 21, 2015 / 9:48 am

      Hey Sabrina! Thanks for your comments -that’s really interesting how you feel you have gained confidence through blogging. I hope I feel like this one day and have the confidence to be proud of my blog and want to meet like minded people and make friends.

  3. April 21, 2015 / 10:29 am

    I’ve only recently started blogging, but, I see where your coming from, your friends change when you have a child, I’m lucky to find new friends, but being new do I feel like I can burden them with all my worries. No, and that’s why I took to blogging, it’s like therapy!

    • admin
      April 21, 2015 / 12:20 pm

      That’s how I feel towards it, spending so much time on my own during the week I feel like I need someone to off load to. Blogging fills that gap.

  4. April 21, 2015 / 5:38 pm

    Really thought provoking and quite the reverse in my situation actually! I have a wide friendship circle and we’re always really busy on weekends but I have been working from home for the last 7 years which can sometimes be lonely during the day. Blogging has given me a new circle of lovely new friends, who I chat to during the day on Facebook or Twitter. All of them are mummy bloggers and I now feel as though I’m working for a new company and they’re my work colleagues!! I find blogging incredibly sociable.

    Caro | http://www.thetwinklediaries.co.uk

    • admin
      April 21, 2015 / 6:50 pm

      Great to here another side of the story – funny how some people find blogging isolating and some love the social aspect.

  5. April 21, 2015 / 10:45 pm

    I found this post really interesting. I’ve been blogging for about five years now and as far as friends are concerned, I just added some more to my collection through the blogging community. I still spend forever on the phone to people. My children are a bit older now – the youngest is four – and I don’t feel at all housebound. I like my own company well enough but rarely spend time by myself because we’re always out or have visitors. I think blogging has only enhanced my social skills and broadened my social circle. Blogging friends I made online are now real life friends – I had lunch with three of them today in fact. I hope that one day you can find the right balance and feel more positive x

    • admin
      April 22, 2015 / 9:02 am

      Thanks for your comment Karen x

  6. April 26, 2015 / 12:39 pm

    I’m not lonely, but I don’t really have real life friends either. I like to be on my own so I don’t actively seek out friendships and social events. However, I don’t blog or use social media to replace real relationships- I do it because I like it, the same as any other hobby. I definitely have an easier time talking to people through a screen though.

    • admin
      April 28, 2015 / 8:31 am

      It’s so interesting how everyone is so very different. Some choose not to have friendships in the outside world and some would love them but can’t quite pluck up the courage. I think I fall somewhere in the middle! Thanks for commenting, means a lot to me.

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